The Bathroom Situation

Hi friends and fam from Kamala Beach on Phuket Island.
Yesterday Jess and I said our goodbyes to our friend Jame at the Thapae Boutique hotel in Chiang Mai and flew the lovely Thai airways to Phuket. Thai airways' seats are bright purple pink and yellow (alternating of course) and they served us an interesting lunch that was ambiguously chicken or fish. Jess didnt eat hers. I slathered mine in ketchup and went for it.
When we landed, we were immediately attacked by a million shuttles/taxis etc. We get into a minibus to the beach and our driver of course has no idea where to take us. Patong beach on phuket is like a trashy vegas and south beach crammed together on a piece of tiny beach. eek. We didnt love Patong so we decided to peace out after one night in the Royal Palm hotel which has no elevator and the bell boy seriously glared at me after having to lug my suitcase up three flights of un-airconditioned stairwells.
Grumpy but not too discouraged, we checked into an internet place to make a list of more suitable places to stay. Because it is the low season, we have the opportunity to bargain down with luxury resorts to cheap prices. The internet place had the cutest dogs which I did NOT pet (Hello-RABIES!) and then we got six dollar massages. I told the woman I wanted just back, but they do what they want.
After getting settled in, we went to a restaurant by the Marriot hotel (promises of no stomach issues!) and had a nice long dinner. At dinner, we were waited on by what people here refer to as "Lady boys." Apparently sex-changes are the norm here and very inexpensive. We loved our waiter, and he told us about how a lot of his friends live in "the California state," in the "service industry, you know? same same!"
Post dinner, where we still have yet to find sticky rice with mango, a Thai specialty, we walked around for about five minutes before being grossed out by all the prostitutes aggressively advertising their services. Apparently the US navy is here for the week and there are all sorts of deals. No thanks.
Today we escaped Patong beach to a nicer beach that is quieter and prostitute-less. Kamala beach is BEAUTIFUL and we are staying fora huge discounted deal (less than an airport Best Western in the states!) at a serene resort on a hill that overlooks the ocean. We bargained for a little bit and then checked in...Sidebar, our tuk-tuk driver got completely lost bringing us and then it monsooned on us in our little tuk-tuk with no windows. Wonderful.
We just left the beach and had a delicious lunch of pad-thai and fruit.
We signed up for a tour of the Phi Phi Islands tomorrow (where they filmed the movie, The Beach!!) and then we are headed off to Krabi (pronounced KraBEEEEE) Island the day after that.
Jess and I swam in the pool and apparently people don't really swim laps here because the hotel staff looked a little confused. Maybe because it was raining.

I am forgetting the point of this post, which is: THE BATHROOM SITUATION.
People here 1. dont use toilet paper ( I KNOW!)
2. dont use what you and I refer to as toilets but instead a porcelain hole in the ground with places to put your feet. These are called "squat toilets."
3. dont have a flusher but instead use a bucket of nasty looking water and a scoop to scoop the water into the toilet until everything disappears.
4. mysterious hose exists in all bathrooms that looks kind of like one of those showers that is not fully connected that you take off of the hook to adjust
I know what you're thinking. What if someone does something that, you know, REQUIRES toilet paper? Well we finally figured out. more research to do later. They don't require toilet paper because they use this hose to flush out anything that would create a need for toilet paper. they do this over the huge bucket and life is dandy for them. Jess and I have not and will likely never ever ever adapt to this. American toilets for us only, thank you.

We loved going to the beach today and hopefully the rain will go away and stay away (rumors of a storm from Burma is on the way! eek!)

Tsunami happened here 2004 for those of you who don't remember. Similarly to Hurricane Katrina, there are all types of photos and remembrance type memorials dotting the islands. I can't imagine how chaotic, scary, and devastating it must have been to be here during that. Five years later, many things are back and beautiful and rebuilt but many areas look like they have yet to rebuild and return. Additionally, there is a lot of construction going on.

That is all for now. I will try to squeeze in some computer time tomorrow to tell yall about our journey to the white sand beauty of the Phi phi islands!!
Love and miss,
Sam